After my recent surgery, I've found recovery much harder than I expected. I genuinely thought I'd be feeling more like myself by now. Instead, there are days where I'm still exhausted, still in pain and still wondering when things will start to improve. And honestly diabetes has been tougher than ever to manage. What has surprised me more isn't just the recovery itself, it's how easy it has been to compare it to everyone else's.
I've heard a lot of comments like:
"My friend had that surgery and was back at work in a week."
"I know someone who had the same operation and they're absolutely fine now."
"It could be worse."
"At least the surgery is over now."
None of these comments are usually intended to hurt. But when you're already questioning your own body, they can make you feel like you're somehow getting recovery wrong. As though you're taking too long, your pain needs justifying and someone else's experience should become the benchmark for your own.
Social media is both comforting and difficult
One of the reasons I love sharing online is because it reminds me I'm not alone. The diabetes community has supported me through some of the hardest moments of my life. Reading about other people's experiences has helped me advocate for myself, seek answers and feel understood.
But if I'm being completely honest, recently social media has also been one of the hardest places to be. I've seen people recovering quicker. I've seen stories of people getting their lives back almost immediately after surgery. I've seen people who seem to have found the answer they've been searching for. And instead of feeling hopeful, I've sometimes found myself wondering…
"Why isn't that happening for me?"
Diabetes has taught me this too
This isn't just true after surgery. It's something I've experienced for years living with type 1 diabetes. Seeing perfect graphs, when you're out of range, someone else's HbA1c improves, whilst you're working so hard to get yours down. Someone seems to have figured everything out and forgetting that's just a snapshot.
We compare numbers.
We compare technology.
We compare time in range.
We compare how much we struggle.
The reality is that no two people experience diabetes in exactly the same way and your journey doesn't need to look like anyone else's
Someone recovering quickly doesn't mean you're failing. Someone struggling more doesn't mean you're not allowed to find things difficult.
Pain isn't a competition.
Recovery isn't a race.
Chronic illness isn't a comparison.
We all have different bodies, different medical histories, different support systems and different circumstances. The only journey you have to live is your own.
A reminder I need as much as anyone else
I'm writing this as much for myself as I am for anyone reading it because I still catch myself comparing. I still have days where I wonder if I should be further along. But healing isn't linear. Living with diabetes isn't linear. Living with a chronic illness certainly isn't linear.
So if you've found yourself scrolling social media and feeling like everyone else is recovering faster, coping better or somehow doing chronic illness "right", I hope you'll remember this:
Your journey is valid.
Your recovery is valid.
Your struggles don't need comparing to someone else's in order to matter.
Sometimes the kindest thing we can do is stop measuring our story against everyone else's and simply give ourselves permission to heal in our own time.
